Nikki (nakeisha) wrote in slashthedrabble,

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Challenge #202. The Sandbaggers. Neil/Willie. Remembering Neil

TITLE: Remembering Neil
AUTHOR: Nikki Harrington
FANDOM: The Sandbaggers
PAIRING: Neil Burnside/Willie Caine
SUMMARY: Set a few months after Opposite Numbers. Finally out of hospital, Willie pays a visit.
CHALLENGE: 202 - 'First'
WARNING: Major character death.
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, nor am I making any money from them. I merely borrow them from time to time.

Willie sits in his wheelchair looking down at the ground.

Looking down at the grave.

Looking down at the grave of the man he once called boss; friend; lover.

Looking down at the grave of the man he once loved.

Looking down at the grave of the man he still loves.

Looking down at the grave of the man he never said the words to.

Looking down at the grave of the man he'd never even admitted to himself he loved; until now.

"I love you, Neil." His voice is hoarse as finally, for the first time, he says the words.

Bizarrely he waits for an answer. It doesn't come. Would Neil have responded, had he ever said the words?

"Damn you, Neil. Why? Why did you have to get on the bloody plane? Why did you have to die like this? Why did you have to leave me?" He knows he's being melodramatic; that wasn't how their relationship was, but he doesn't care.

He doesn't care about anything any longer.

He doesn't care that he's in a wheelchair.

He doesn't care that he's in constant pain.

He doesn't care that he'll never walk again.

He doesn't care that SIS 'pensioned' him off.

He doesn't care that he told Mike to go to hell when he visited him.

He doesn't care about anything.

He sits there remembering.

Remembering Neil.

Remembering Neil and him.

Remembering the good times and the bad.

Remembering how somehow they found a way to push the hell of their jobs away for a while.

Remembering -

He hears a noise and looks up. Still alert, still the Sandbagger.

He still has enemies, he knows that. And if one of them found him, he'd have no chance.

Just for a moment he hopes it is one of his enemies. For the first time ever, he wouldn't put up a fight.

But it isn't.

He recognises the man walking towards him, his coat long, just like those Neil used to wear, his face and eyes haunted as Neil's were. But there the similarity ends.

"Jeff," he says, as Jeff Ross, the only other person to know about them, stops by his side.

"Hey, Willie. Thought I'd find you here."

"I thought you'd been recalled to America."

Jeff shrugs. "Yeah. But I still have one mission in the UK." He pushes his hands further into his pockets.

"Oh?" Willie doesn't care.

"Yeah." Jeff pauses; then he pulls one hand out of his overcoat pocket and holds out an envelope to Willie. "Neil asked me to give this to you if he ever . . ." Jeff trails off.

For a moment Willie just sits there, unmoving, unable to take the envelope. Then slowly he reaches out his hand and takes it.

"I'll be in the car. When you've read it, I'll take you home; we can have a drink and remember Neil."

And with that, Jeff turns on his heel and walks away.

Willie sits in his wheelchair looking down at the ground.
Tags: sandbaggers

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