Fandom: Person of Interest
Characters: Harold/John and Past Harold/Nathan
Word Count: 500
Summary: Harold wants what he can't have
An: Written for the slashthedrabble prompt: hindsight
An2: Also here at AO3
Harold tapped on his keyboard as John cleaned one of his many guns. Harold tried to concentrate on the screen before him, but every once in a while he would glance over and stare at John's hands. His long fingers worked with the grace and precision that came from muscle memory.
Harold tore his eyes away and tried to work. In hindsight, hiring John might not have been a good idea. It wasn't that he wasn't good at his job. Oh no, he was as precise and efficient as a scalpel. It was the way he smiled and would touch Harold that was the problem.
John touches were of friendship, but they made Harold want.
His smile made Harold want things that he couldn't have. He wanted to touch, he wanted to kiss, but most of all he wanted someone he could tell all his secrets to. He hadn't felt that way since Nathan.
Nathan had smiled that way and he touched Harold in ways that were more than friendly. He still remembered the kisses fondly.
Of course, Harold remembered with painful clarity how he had broke things off with Nathan when Nathan married. Nathan refused to tell his wife and Harold just couldn't do that to her, no matter how much it cost him.
Of course with John it was different. Aside from the fact that he was his boss and wouldn't abuse his position of power, John showed no interest in men. He wasn't going to risk their relationship.
Harold sighed knowing he wasn't going to get any work done today.
'You okay, Finch?' John asked with concern in his voice.
'I'm fine. I'm just tired.'
'Oh yeah? You want me to get you something to eat?'
'You don't have to.'
John stood up and stretched. 'Not a problem. I could use something myself. How about Italian?'
'That sounds wonderful.'
John grinned and Harold wanted more than food. He watched John leave and went back to his computer screen.
The time passed quickly and John came back.
He went over to Harold and handed him a take-out bag.
'Thank you,' Harold said as he opened the bag and saw it was his favourite, because of course it would be. John was nothing if not observant.
The ate in silence.
'Can I ask you something?' John asked after he had finished his meal.
'Can I kiss you?'
Harold's eyes went wide. He must have misheard. 'Pardon?'
John blushed. 'I'll take that as a no. I get it. I've get too much baggage and all that crap.'
Harold stood up and hobbled over to John. He took John's hand in his own and held it.
'It's not that. It was never that. I just thought that you wouldn't want me.'
John smiled. It was a smile that lit up his whole face and he leaned close and kissed Harold's cheek.
Harold wanted more than a kiss on the cheek but there would plenty of time for that later.